5 Tips to Help You Stop People Pleasing
If you grew up learning it was important to put other people's needs above your own, then it can be tough to break that habit. After all, people pleasing is often seen as a virtue—the "nice" thing to do. But what happens when people pleasing starts to take a toll on your mental and emotional health?
That's when it's time to start setting some boundaries. Here are five tips to help you start to become aware and make a change.
1. Understand you people please for all sorts of reasons.
Maybe you were raised in a family where everyone had to put everyone else's needs first. Or maybe you're afraid of conflict or rejection. Whatever the reason, it's important to understand why you do it so that you can start to change those patterns of behavior.
2. Set boundaries:
It's impossible to please everyone all the time, and trying to do so will only leave you feeling burned out and resentful. So start setting some boundaries with the people in your life. Say no when you need to, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. Remember, you don't owe anyone an explanation for your decision—you can just say no thank you.
3. Communicate openly and honestly.
One of the biggest problems with people pleasing is that it often leads to communication breakdowns. When you're always trying to please others, you might start withholding information or refusing to express how you really feel. This can lead to misunderstandings and resentment down the road. So instead, practice communicating openly and honestly with the people in your life—even if it means having difficult conversations.
4. Prioritize your own needs.
It's important to remember that your needs matter too—you can't pour from an empty cup! So make sure to prioritize your own physical, mental, and emotional needs. This might mean saying no to plans so that you can stay home and rest or taking some time for yourself every day to do something that makes you happy. Whatever it is, put yourself first every once in a while. 5. Seek professional support.
If you find that people pleasing is starting to negatively impact your life in major ways, it might be time to seek professional help. A therapist can help you understand the root causes of your people pleasing behavior and give you tools to change those patterns.
Are you a people pleaser? If so, know that you're not alone—but also know that it's okay to want more for yourself. Use these tips as a starting point for setting some healthy boundaries and taking care of yourself first (for once!). And remember, if people pleasing is starting to seriously affect your quality of life, I’m here to support you.
Next:
