Managing Anxiety Around the Holidays

The holidays can be very stressful, increased spending, increased time with family members (some are easier to be around than others), busy schedules, and a whole lot to do in a little bit of time. It’s the happiest time of the year. Not really; for some people, the holidays can be a magical time of the year for food, traditions, and more family time. Many people with anxiety feel less than excited about the holidays because it adds additional stressors on top of the anxiety they deal with daily. For people who struggle with anxiety, the holidays can cause a lot of worrying about the future and a lot of planning that can be exhausting. Concern about spending times with family members that you don’t usually see year-round, long days with increased time with people outside of the house can leave you feeling more anxious and on edge. If the celebrations occur at your home, anxiety often occurs with anxiousness about the house being clean enough, getting baking done, wrapping presents, the list goes on. There are a lot of extra stressors around the holidays that can impact the way we are feeling. We must find time to manage anxiety and increase self-care even in the holiday spirit. In times of increased anxiousness, it is crucial to balance self-care and strategies to manage so that anxiety does not get out of control. Give yourself the gift of less anxiety by practicing these strategies.

1. Set Limits.

In the season of giving, we often stretch ourselves beyond limits doing all the things and decking the halls, cleaning, cooking, wrapping, holiday parties, kid’s holiday programs, sending holiday cards, spending more than we can afford to give. This season commit to giving yourself and your family permission to set limits and do the holidays on your terms. Maybe it is leaving early from the work holiday party or not sending out holiday cards until after the new year (or not at all). Perhaps a heartfelt Facebook post to all friends or family is enough to save your sanity, calm your nerves, and give you hours back to do something that resonates more fully with you.

2. Ask for Help

The holidays are all about time with those we love and creating memories that last a lifetime. It’s okay to ask for help or do things together to get the job done. Look at your holiday to-do list and see what things you can ask someone else to help you with. Maybe everyone can bring a dish to pass to ease the baking load. Or spend time with a partner, child, or family member to teach them to do the task together. Maybe they will learn a new holiday tradition and have fun spending time with you. And maybe, next year it can go on their holiday to-do list.

3. Take Breaks Early and Often

It’s tiring to think about it. If we do too much or worry too much, we get overwhelmed. When we are overwhelmed, things are harder to do and require more energy. If we let our anxiety get out of control, it is harder to get back under control and even harder to get in the holiday spirit. Taking breaks early and often is a trick that will allow you to experience more of the holiday spirit and manage anxiety. On a scale of 1-10, with ten being the most anxious, try to take breaks at a 3 or 4. Acting early will help you keep your peace of mind and do more things you enjoy. If you wait too long, you might turn into the grinch. Give yourself the benefit of taking breaks and relaxing. Try something like having a cup of hot chocolate, looking out the window, practicing some breathing strategies, or allowing yourself to do those things you like that you don’t usually let yourself do (midday power nap, call a friend, more coffee, etc.).

4. Plan Ahead When Possible

For those with anxiety, waiting until the last minute can be incredibly stressful. Going from that 1-10 in 60 seconds is way more likely if you are faced with a bunch of tasks that have to be done now! Add in a little buffer for yourself by getting what you can get done early. Think of the last holiday what was the last thing you did that caused the most stress. How could you change things up to pace yourself to make that less stressful? Maybe it is breaking up wrapping or baking up into multiple days so that you don’t have to pull an all-nighter to get things done.

5. Sleep

Speaking of all-nighters. This might seem counterproductive but getting in that coveted sleep is one of the best things you can do for yourself this holiday season. When we are asleep, we process emotions so that we don’t carry one day’s anxiety into the other. Having a restful sleep can help you to feel more refreshed. Avoid caffeine late in the day to give yourself the chance to sleep at a reasonable time. If sleep is difficult for you, try a calming exercise close to bed, focus on slow and restful breathing, add an extra blanket to help you feel more cozy and relaxed.

6. Give Yourself What You Need

Scan your body; what do you feel? Are you noticing tension or pain? How about hunger? Bring your awareness to your body and see what you are feeling. Start at your toes and work your way up to the top of your head. If you notice any tension, reposition and release it. Take a deep breath with a long exhale. Give yourself what you need. You have permission to take care of yourself. Don’t allow the holidays to take away your humanity. You still need to eat, to go to the bathroom, to have some space for yourself to enjoy. It’s okay to say, “I will do that later” or “Maybe next year.” You get to decide what’s right for you.

7. Remember the Holidays Will Pass

With all the hustle and bustle, hurrying and baking, present wrapping, and traditions, it can be easy to forget that the holidays are a season. They are not permanent. They will pass, and things will go back to normal routines. Do what you can with what you got and remember that the holidays will pass. Do what is meaningful and leave the rest. Enjoy what you can at the moment.

8. Drop the Guilt

Holidays didn’t go as planned? Was the new recipe a total flop? You burnt the pie. Did someone not like their gift. Did you miss a holiday event? Was someone sick, and you didn’t get to celebrate the way you wanted to? Was money tight, and you didn’t get to give the gifts you wanted to give? Hey, it is okay! If there is one thing I know about days with big expectations, something will not go as planned. Some things are not within our control. Holidays, like other days, aren’t perfect, and that’s okay. It is not your fault. Do the best with what you have, and don’t beat yourself up. Chances are if you are struggling this holiday season with anxiety, things are already complicated enough. An extra dose of guilt for what wasn’t in your control in the first place isn’t going to help. Not all holiday celebrations are as good as they look on Facebook or Instagram. Remember, we only see what people post, which is not a good indicator of reality. Take some time to take care of yourself!